Stepping Off

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take – but the moments that take our breath away…

Stepping Off

We have just had a couple of days away camping and climbed Flinter Gill above the village of Dent in the Yorkshire Dales.

The view from Flinter Gill with toposcope

At the top is a Toposcope(!) pointing to the various peaks and fells that may be seen but also bearing a poem – “Smiling Along” by Kathleen Partridge.  The poem says so much that we believe in at Stepping Off, about getting away from the frenetic 21st century pace of life… and I thought I would be able to find it on the internet, but no! So I only have the middle verse which I can read from a photo…

“A good wholesome breeze sweeps the frown from my forehead,
Here is simplicity, fragrant and free;
It is enough to be living this minute,
To feel and to hear, to think and to see”

Kathleen Partridge Poem Smiling Along

If anyone knows the poem, please let me know, or I will have to climb Flinter Gill again!

Thanks to Julia Hall who found a picture of the whole toposcope on the web… here is the poem in full:

“Roaming the byways outside the great city
The sky seems to large for my little concerns
Worries are lost in the green of the landscape
A sense of wellbeing and wonder returns

“A good wholesome breeze sweeps the frown from my forehead,
Here is simplicity, fragrant and free;
It is enough to be living this minute,
To feel and to hear, to think and to see

“My values of living take on a fresh aspect,
With every green leaf that I notice unfurled,
Roaming the byways is good as a tonic,
I come home renewed to the work a day world”

One of the most valuable things we help people with at Stepping Off is getting their life into perspective and sorting out what is really important in life.

Sadly my Mother died last month and it has been quite a tough few weeks but what has really helped is that for the past few years we have lived near her and been able to see her and spend time with her.  I cannot imagine how I would have managed if I had still been living 300 miles away, putting work first and working 12 hours a day.

Getting off the treadmill and moving to live a simpler less stressful life was the best thing I have ever done and it really helped me get life into prespective.

The hardest part is working through what your own life’s priorities really are.  I guess we do not think about it too much – mainly because we are too busy ‘living’ and getting on with life.   When did you last ask yourself – ‘Who am I?’, ‘What do I stand for?’ ‘What do I want from my life?’, ‘What does success really mean to me?’

Now I find I may not have  as much money as I used to have but I do have a  more fulfilling life, I have more fun and more time for the important things.  Things like – having time for friends and family.

Since the last blog things have been fairly hectic.  Last month we had a sudden family bereavement, this month we have been to our friends’ wedding.  In between we have been working with some truly lovely people both with Stepping Off, Smoky Jo’s and on the Volunteer Business Mentoring scheme for small businesses in Cumbria that Jo is co-ordinating.

At times, working through tears has been quite surreal; at other times having to travel a long way  to a wedding seemed inconvenient!  How crazy!  One of the things we focus on with Stepping Off is sorting out priorities.  Celebrating the wedding of friends is at the top!  (And we wouldn’t have missed it for the world! A great day! The last month  has also provided a reminder that as an employee it may have been  much easier to take compassionate leave than it is when you work for yourself.  Perhaps the most bizarre thing was writing our regular upbeat and positive column for Carlisle Living magazine the day after a death in the family.

One of the reasons we wanted to escape the rat race was to have more quality time for friends and family.  Having a wedding and a funeral in such close proximity is a timely reminder of why we believe in what we are doing.

Sun breaking through the clouds...

I suspect in the south this may be old news, but here in Cumbria our first daffodils are trying to open in time for Easter.  The doors are open to let some fresh air in… but it is VERY fresh air, just above freezing! (If you are coming up to see us, bring warm clothing, especially socks!)

It is amazing how much the seasons of the year can affect you.  Some folk find relief from Seasonal Affective Disorder from light therapy.  Many feel the need for an annual dose of sunshine.

I love the warm colours of autumn, and the cosiness of a roaring fire after a misty damp day… but Spring is all about new beginnings.  Is the year going to be the same as the last?  What changes do I want to make, and when am I going to make them?!  Am I going to stick to my system for paperwork this year… or not?  Am I going to THINK about planting more daffodils or am I going to  DO IT!!?  (I have now put it on the calendar.  I will not get to next spring and wish I had planted them!)

But will we be here to see them in the spring, or will we have stepped off or moved on….

Just before the Vitality Show we got back from the most wonderful trip to Sri Lanka, land of Jo’s (and her Mother’s) birth!  She’d not been back since she was eight, I have no idea why – it is an amazing country.

Curiously we have been slightly unsettled… we upped sticks leaving jobs and home in the south ten years ago… are we ready for a move abroad..?  I think we need a Stepping Off course to check on our priorities, values, aspirations and limiting beliefs and then to plan the next steps!

Like most visitors to Sri Lanka we had a chauffeur/guide for the first part of the holiday.  His name was Jally – Hafiz Jaleel, and he absolutely made our holiday!  I promised I would link to his website so I hope you will forgive a little plug for him  He used to work for Kuoni, but  “Stepped Off” and went solo last year.  He has a good fan base on Tripadvisor – but links aren’t allowed.  He helped with all Jo’s strange requests tracing her roots – searching out  old family home and church and her Father’s office at the old brewery.  Her Father and Grandfather ran the Ceylon Brewery between them from the 1920’s to the the 1960’s and it was her Father who started brewing Lion Lager (and Lion stout)  which is still going strong today.  We raised many a glass to her old man as we negotiated the hills, beaches, kitchens and other wonders of  Sri Lanka.  Who would have thought that an island the size of Ireland would have seven – yes, SEVEN World Heritage Sites?

If you are thinking of a trip to Sri Lanka – and why wouldn’t you? – we would be delighted to talk to anyone considering asking Jally to accompany them.  We cannot recommend him too highly; but being one of the best he can get booked up months in advance – just make sure he is available before you book your flights!

May be we will see you there, running a cinnamon farm or a guest house… or downshifting courses…

We met some lovely folk at the Vitality Show… but it wasn’t One Life Live, was it?  To our past clients, thanks for coming to see us, it makes it all worthwhile. Really good to catch up with you!

Our stand was not where we hoped it would be, but it was fun to watch the amazing fitness classes nearby.  In my day it was just circuit training (which believe it or not I loved!) I wonder if I would have developed a sense of rhythm if there had been street dance and combat dance around when I was younger.  Of course if I hadn’t still been on the (slow) mend from a distal femoral osteotomy (knee op.) I would probably have joined in… so, embarrassment avoided there!

Anyway, we look forward to seeing those of you who are definitely coming up on a Stepping Off weekend; if you nearly booked but weren’t quite sure we will of course be happy to chat further – please give us a call!

Stepping Off will be at the Vitality Show this year being held at Earls Court in London on 18-21 March.

Why I hear you ask?

Well because there was a fantastic show called the One Life Live show held at Olympia every year – and it is all about life change, career change, adult gap-years,volunteering etc.  Well this year it has been incorporated in the Vitality Show. So it will be twice as good!

So come and see us – we are in the One Life section by the theatre.

Also I will be speaking in the theatre on “Finding a Future that Fits” which will be a motivational talk outlining  some useful hints and tips to help you design the best future possible.

Come and listen on Thursday evening at 8pm, Saturday at 1.30pm and Sunday at 1.30pm. 

If you want to know more about the things I speak on have a look at Jo Hampson

See you there!

Our motto at Stepping Off this year is to “put procrastination in the past”!

How many times have you been here before – it is a new year – we are thinking of new year’s resolutions, we are all keyed up and motivated – this year is going to be different!

But is it?

Being keyed up and motivated is only half the story – the other half is understanding why you have been here so many times before and have never really achieved all you set out to achieve.

Identifying the things in our lives  that stop us from moving forwards and achieving our goals is vital if we are to live our lives differently.

So why not spend some time thinking about  -

1.  What are the things that are stopping us moving forward and living a happier life?   

2. Who are the people who are stopping us changing? – Have you ever thought that some friends and family members may have their own reasons for wanting you to stay where you are?

There are lots of reasons that keep us where we are – our own comfort zone for one.   But if you can name some of these reasons, think them through and then answer this question:  Are they real, are they imagined or are they just an excuse?  When you have made sense of them you can then dismiss them from your mind. 

Don’t let them stop you becoming the person you long to be, living the life you long to live!

Procrastination may well be one of these reasons. So make this the year you put procrastination in the past and make this YOUR year for change!

We are all brilliant at sabotaging our own ability to change.  We just hate getting out of our comfort zone – even if that comfort zone is not particularly comfortable!

Why does it happen and how can we change it?

Well –  have a read of one of our columns written for Carlisle Living and see if it helps you start to change your life…..

Yeah but, No but, Yeah but, No but…

Why do we stop ourselves from doing the things we want to do?  Long before Little Britain used their “yeah but, no but” line we were talking about “yeah buts” – those words in our heads saying “yeah but… there’s no point applying for that job, I’ll never get it.”  “Yeah but… Australia’s ever such a long way…”  “yeah but… if I do buy that amazing outfit will I look good in it..?” 

A ‘yeah but’ is that doubt in your mind when you are thinking about doing something differently – from changing the way you look to changing your job, leaving your partner to  leaving the country. It nags away at you, whispering – “yeah, but are you sure you can do it?”  “Yeah, but what happens if it all goes wrong?”  “Yeah, but what will people think if I fail?” These thoughts nibble away at your self esteem and sap your confidence until eventually you convince yourself that it is all too risky, too difficult and you may walk away without doing something that would have been terrific. 

We are frequently surrounded by “yeah but” people.  Friends and family may be all too happy to talk us out of doing anything different.  You may recognise their words; “Yeah, but why would you want to do that?”  “Oh, but it’s a harsh world out there” they say.  “Will you be able to do it?”  “No, but you are better off staying where you are” and on they go…  They will have their own reasons for wanting you to stay the same… Yeah, but they may be preventing you from choosing the best path for you. 

So when you hear that little voice of doubt in your head, or you hear people doubting your ability to do something differently – whether a hairstyle or a lifestyle – listen and decide whether it’s a valid reason or a “yeah but”.   If it is a “yeah but”, recognise it for what it is, dismiss it and get on with the adventure of life!

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